Types of Gratitude: A Framework for Deepening Connection with Yourself
When you hear the word gratitude, what comes up?
Maybe it feels overused. Maybe it feels like one of those things people say we should do… “Just write three things you’re thankful for every day and you’ll feel better.” But that kind of surface-level gratitude can sometimes feel like another task on an already full to-do list.
The truth is, gratitude isn’t about forcing positivity. It’s not about pretending things are fine when they’re not. Gratitude, when practiced gently and intentionally, is about perspective. It’s about noticing what’s holding you, even when life feels uncertain.
As a therapist and yoga teacher, I also see gratitude as a somatic practice: one that can help regulate your nervous system, ground your body, and remind you of the support that’s already here.
I love exploring how three types of gratitude connect to different moments in time:
Looking Back (Remembering)
Savoring (Being With the Present)
Looking Ahead (Anticipatory Gratitude)
Each one invites you to slow down and meet yourself with kindness, whether you’re in a moment of calm or in the middle of something hard.
1. Looking Back (Remembering)
Sometimes, gratitude begins by looking behind us… remembering what’s carried us here. This isn’t about idealizing the past, but about honoring the moments, people, and parts of ourselves that have helped us grow. One of my favorite ways to access gratitude from the past is through scrolling through old photos on my phone.
Maybe it’s a joyful or funny memory or a riveting travel experience
Maybe you think of a person who showed up when you needed it most.
Maybe it’s a small decision you made that made a larger and supportive impact on your life.
Maybe it’s a version of yourself who kept going, even when it was hard.
This type of gratitude is a form of remembering: I’ve been through a whole lot of life, and I’m still here.
Why it helps:
Looking back with gratitude can strengthen your sense of resilience. It reminds your body and mind that you’ve met challenges and transitions before, and that you already have inner resources you can lean on now.
Try this:
Before bed tonight, close your eyes and bring to mind one memory that makes you exhale a little. It doesn’t have to be profound, maybe it’s laughter shared with a friend or a walk that cleared your mind.
Notice what happens in your body as you remember it. Does something soften?
You might even write it down:
“I’m grateful for ___ because ___.”
The “because” is what helps deepen the meaning. It connects gratitude to story, to emotion, to embodiment.
Whenever I look at photos from my first (hopeful to go back) trip to Greece, I’m immediately transported back in time, my body feels lighter as I was in such a period of freedom, exploration, wonder, and so much beauty. And I also get some good laughs in reminiscing of dripping sweat, particularly when visiting the Parthenon.
2. Savoring (Being With Now)
The second type of gratitude is called savoring, gratitude for what’s happening right now.
It’s the sunlight streaming through your window.
The routine of making your morning drink (for me it’s sifting and whisking my matcha). And the warmth of your cup between your palms.
The steady rhythm of your breath, even when your thoughts feel scattered.
Savoring is about presence. It’s not about pretending everything’s good. It’s about noticing what is good, or even just what is, within the full spectrum of your experience.
In a world that’s constantly pushing us toward the next thing, savoring is an act of rebellion. It says: I can pause here.
This isn’t toxic positivity
Let’s be clear… savoring is not about forcing yourself to be grateful when you feel low, anxious, or overwhelmed. That kind of “just think positive” mindset can actually make us feel worse, because it asks us to ignore what’s real.
Toxic positivity tells us to bypass pain. True gratitude helps us hold it with compassion.
You can feel both:
“I’m sad this chapter ended, and I’m grateful I got to live it.”
“I feel anxious right now, and I’m grateful for the breath that’s carrying me through.”
This is the kind of nuanced gratitude that actually heals. It allows space for the full truth of your emotions: both the light and the shadow.
What research says
Research supports that even small moments of gratitude can shift our emotional state. Studies from UCLA Health found that practicing gratitude for just 15 minutes a day, five days a week, for six weeks can improve mood and create lasting positive changes in the brain.
Other studies show that people who regularly practice gratitude report better sleep, lower stress, improved immune function, reducing inflammatory responses, and more optimism about life. Gratitude doesn’t erase difficulty, it adds a counterbalance. It widens your perspective so that hard moments don’t take up the entire view.
Try this:
Take one full minute today to slow down. Set a timer on your phone. Feel your feet on the floor. Notice one thing you can see, one thing you can hear, and one thing you can feel.
Then silently say to yourself, “Thank you for this moment.”
That’s it. No journaling required, no fancy ritual. Just presence.
If you want to take it further:
Write down one small thing from today that you enjoyed, and describe it in detail: the color, the texture, the feeling. The more sensory you get, the more your body takes in the experience.
That’s savoring.
3. Looking Ahead (Anticipatory Gratitude)
The third type of gratitude looks to the future. It’s gratitude for what’s still unfolding, what hasn’t happened yet, but what you’re opening to.
This might sound like:
“I’m grateful for the person I’m becoming.”
“I’m thankful for the new connections I’m planting seeds to form.”
“I’m grateful for the healing that’s still in progress.”
It’s not about pretending to know what’s coming, it’s about trusting that your life can keep expanding in ways you can’t yet see.
This kind of gratitude helps counter fear of the unknown. When we thank life in advance, we’re practicing faith, not blind optimism, but trusting that more support and beauty might be on the way.
Try this:
Write down one thing you’re looking forward to, even if it’s small: a walk, a meal, a workout class, calling a friend. Then, notice how it feels in your body to thank it now, before it happens.
This simple act can create a sense of openness and possibility, especially when life feels uncertain.
Why a Daily Gratitude Practice Matters
Gratitude works like any muscle: the more we use it, the more naturally it shows up. It’s definitely not about perfection or adding pressure to your day. Personally, my gratitude practices ebb and flow, but the theme of consistency in small practices is what feels most supportive.
Research from the University of California and Emmons Lab found that keeping a daily or weekly gratitude journal can:
Improve mood and optimism
Reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression
Improve sleep quality
Strengthen relationships
Support physical health and self-care habits
You don’t need to write a long list each day. Even one intentional sentence can make a difference.
Tips for creating your own practice:
Pair it with a routine: Reflect on gratitude right after brushing your teeth, before your morning coffee or tea, or before bed. Personally, I say the same gratitude prayer every single morning right when I get out of bed. Of course, some days I forget to whisper the words, but overall it is a practice that has become natural to the rhythm of my day.
Be specific: Instead of “I’m grateful for my friends,” try “I’m grateful for how my friend made me laugh during our walk.”
Include your body: Notice what gratitude feels like. Warmth in your chest? Softness in your shoulders? Grounding in your feet? Let it be a whole-body experience.
Don’t force it: On hard days, your gratitude might be as simple as “I’m grateful that I made it through today.” That’s enough.
Even when gratitude feels far away, the act of looking for it can begin to shift something inside you.
An Idea for A Weekly Gratitude Practice
Monday: Reflect on Looking Back. What memory or person are you grateful for?
Wednesday: Practice Savoring. Notice one present-moment detail that brings comfort.
Friday: Try Looking Ahead. What’s one thing you’re grateful to move toward?
At the end of the week, reread your notes. Notice what stands out. Sometimes gratitude becomes clearer in hindsight, like a photo that develops slowly over time.
When Gratitude Feels Hard
There will be seasons when gratitude feels impossible. When life feels heavy or uncertain, it’s okay to not feel thankful. You don’t have to force it.
Instead, you can hold this question: What, even in this hard time, is holding me right now?
Maybe it’s your breath that keeps moving. Maybe it’s the friend who texted to check in. Maybe it’s the the unwavering strength you didn’t know you had.
That’s gratitude too.
Gratitude and the Body
As someone who works somatically, I often think of gratitude as a body practice, not just a mental one.
When you pause and name what you’re thankful for, your nervous system begins to regulate. Your breath slows. Your body feels a little safer. Over time, this can help you feel more grounded and connected: to yourself, to others, to the world around you.
Try this right now:
Take a slow breath in through your nose.
Exhale softly through your mouth.
Place one hand on your chest.
Whisper, thank you.
What Gratitude Is — and Isn’t
Gratitude is:
A way of remembering what’s good, steady, or true, even & especially when things are hard.
A way to anchor your body in the present.
A little reminder that your life continues to unfold, often in unexpected ways.
Gratitude is not:
Pretending you’re happy all the time.
Comparing your pain to others (“I shouldn’t feel this way because others have it worse”).
A way to bypass grief or discomfort.
Real gratitude can coexist with sadness, anxiety, or grief. It’s not about erasing those emotions, it’s about making room for more than one truth at once.
Bringing It All Together
Here’s what these three types of gratitude might look like woven into daily life:
Looking Back: “I’m grateful for my friend who reminded me I’m not alone.”
Savoring: “I’m grateful for the warmth of the sun on my face right now.”
Looking Ahead: “I’m grateful for the peace I’m learning to create for myself.”
Each form of gratitude invites a different kind of healing: remembering helps you feel rooted, savoring helps you feel present, and looking ahead helps you feel hopeful.
And when practiced regularly, they build a foundation of steadiness you can return to, no matter what’s happening around you.
Continued Reflection
If you take just one thing from this post, let it be this:
Gratitude isn’t about pretending everything’s okay. It’s about noticing what supports you in the past, present, and future, and letting that noticing soften your edges a little.
Start small. Trust that even a single breath of appreciation counts. Your body will remember.
“Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and enough into a quiet kind of peace.”
If this resonates with you:
Practices like gratitude, mindfulness, and somatic awareness are woven into the work I do with clients. Together, we explore ways to reconnect to your body, regulate your nervous system, and move through life transitions with more self-kindness.
If you’d like to explore therapy with me, you can book a free 15 minute consultation to see if it feels like a good fit.
XOXO,
Amanda
