Protect Your Peace: How to Set Healthy Boundaries with Loved Ones Over the Holidays
The holidays can be a time of joy and connection, but they can also bring up tough conversations, long days, and the unrealistic expectations that everyone will be constantly happy. Setting boundaries is an essential act of self-care, especially during this busy season. As a therapist and support group facilitator, I am honored to help individuals navigate these types of dynamics, offering tools and strategies to prioritize their well-being during the holidays.
Why Boundaries Matter
Boundaries help protect your energy and emotional health. They allow you to participate in holiday gatherings in a way that feels sustainable and aligned with your needs. Remember: It’s okay to prioritize yourself, even if it means saying no or stepping away.
Affirmation: “I deserve to set boundaries that protect my well-being.”
Recognizing Your Needs
Before attending any holiday event, whether with family, friends or new community, take a moment to reflect on what you need to feel comfortable and supported. Ask yourself:
What situations tend to trigger stress or discomfort?
How can I create space for rest and recharge?
Who can I lean on for support?
Having clarity about your needs will help you navigate the season with greater ease.
Practical Tips for Setting Boundaries
Here are three actionable tips to help you uphold your boundaries during the holidays:
1. Take a Break
Sometimes, stepping away from a gathering can provide the reset you need. Excuse yourself to grab something from the car, take a short walk, or simply breathe outside.
Phrases to Try:
“I’m stepping out for a moment to take a breather.”
“I’ll be back shortly; I just need a moment to myself.”
2. Enlist Support
If you anticipate challenging conversations or dynamics, enlist a trusted friend or family member to support you.
Phrases to Try:
“Can you help me change the subject if that comes up again? I’d really appreciate it.”
“Let’s stick together during dinner—your company is so helpful.”
3. Prioritize Rest
Know that it’s okay to leave events early or limit your time to what feels good for you. Prioritizing rest is a vital part of self-care.
Phrases to Try:
“I’m heading out a little early tonight to rest.”
“I’ll be here for a couple of hours, but then I’ll need to head home.”
Navigating Guilt and Pushback
Setting boundaries may feel uncomfortable at first, especially if others are not used to it. Remember, you’re not responsible for managing other people’s feelings. It’s okay to say no or make decisions that prioritize your well-being.
Reminder: “My boundaries are an expression of self-respect and care.”
Creating a Holiday Experience That Feels Right
You don’t have to adhere to traditional holiday norms if they don’t work for you. Consider what activities or rituals bring you joy and incorporate them into your season. Whether it’s spending time with a small group, attending virtual events, or even spending the day solo, the choice is yours.
Reaching Out for Support
If you need additional guidance during this time, therapy can be a valuable resource. Amanda Sacks Therapy provides individual therapy for residents of NY and NJ and offers tools to help you navigate holiday stress. For those seeking community support, We All Feel support circles create a safe space to share and connect with others.
You’re Not Alone
As you move through the holiday season, remember that it’s okay to prioritize your well-being. Setting boundaries is an act of love for yourself, and you deserve to feel safe and supported. Save this article for when you need encouragement, and share it with someone who might benefit from these reminders.
This season, remind yourself: “I am allowed to create a holiday experience that feels right for me.”
If you are looking for support with navigating and setting healthy boundaries and beyond: Book a free 15 minute consultation call with me to discuss your needs and see if we might be a good fit.
xoxo,
Amanda
